Come crying to me
by Niola
Summary: C&M all the way. Monica's life is turned upside down when there's an accident. updated 3rd chapter!
1. Worrying

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Come crying to me

Chapter 1: Worrying

A/N: what's there to know? This takes place somewhere in season 4, Emily "never happened". Ross and Rachel are in a relationship and it's focusing on Chandler and Monica. 

Disclaimer: I don't own them… 

It was a cold winters night when I came home from working late. Something I rarely did, but it was a way of escaping things. So many things had been going on lately, not only in my life but also in my friends lives, which effected all of us. I felt tired when I walked up the stairs of the apartment building, just a few more I reminded myself. When I finally reached the door to my apartment I opened it and walked inside, hanging up my coat and leaving my briefcase lingering on the counter for the next morning. In the corner of my eye I saw the red light blinking on my answering machine, I pushed the button to play my messages. 

-- Hi sweetie it's your mom, I just wanted to hear your voice! I hope you're doing fine and I'll call you again somewhere next week. I love you, bye bye.

I frowned at her message. There was another message waiting for me. I smiled when I heard her warm voice.

-- Hey Chandler uhm... I know you're not home yet but I just wanted to thank you for last night, that… that really meant a great deal to me. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I just wish there was something I could do in return. Call me when you get home okay? If you don't want to that's okay, I know have been taking too much of your time already. Okay uhm I'll talk to you later I guess, bye.

That was some night and it meant a lot to me too, we talked till early in the morning and I listened to her and was holding her close. We fell asleep not long after in each others arms, the next morning she was still in my arms with her head on my chest, her breathing was slow. I never imagined myself getting so emotionally involved with my best friend, let alone have a girl as my best friend. It felt great though and smiled at the memory of last night.

I picked up the phone and my fingers pushed the buttons, my ear hearing the phone ringing on the other end. Suddenly I slammed the phone down after just one ring and sighed heavily this effected me so much. Standing up I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed, tomorrow would be new day with new opportunities. Sleep wouldn't come that night, I was tossing and turning feeling guilty about not calling her back when she asked me too. It was two hours after midnight when I went over to the girls apartment, just to make sure she was okay. When I entered the apartment it was dark and lonely, but I could see a flickering light coming from one of the bedrooms. Slowly I walked up to the door and with a slight crack it opened I could see Monica sitting on the bed with a picture in her hand. I softly called out to her, but she sat motionless. Carefully closing the door behind me, I sat down on the bed and put my arm around her and cuddled up beside her in a cozily way. She cried softly and let her weight fall into my embrace, gently stroking her back I made a futile and pathetic attempt to take the hurt away

"Honey... please don't cry, it's gonna be alright", I murmured tenderly.

She looked up to me with those piercing blue eyes, "how Chandler, it's never going to be the same again" and she broke down crying in my arms, the tears wetting us both.

For the last ten years I had been able to take the hurt away—bandaging scrapes, repairing hurt feelings, comforting, consoling, soothing. Now I could do nothing. Nothing at all. Crying in my arms, her life shattered. I held her, yet I was helpless. I could not take away this hurt. And never in my life had I felt like such a failure.

We stayed in that position for awhile. It was comforting for the both of us I guess. She had someone to lean onto and I knew she was all right for the time being. At least she was not alone. 

I heard her softly sniffle and her crying had stopped more or less, "I'm sorry Mon. I…".

"Chandler don't, please you don't have to apologize."

I tightened my grip around her body and kissed her neck behind her ear, whispering a soft "thank you".

She was troubled and silent for a moment and then spoke to me in a whisper. "No thank you for being here, you have no idea how much this means to me."

I smiled and laid her hand within mine. "But what?" 

"It's just that I've been pushing you guys away, while I needed you so damn much."

"Honey I'm not mad at you, you know when my parents divorced, I behaved the same way. I never wanted anyone around or share my feelings, afraid someone might hurt me again."

"But you're doing okay now right?"

"Yes because I have you around. I could never lie to you or hide my feelings, I'm like this open book when you look at me." I smirked teasingly and raised my brow waiting for her reply. 

"You have no idea how glad I am to have you in my life, you're like the best thing that ever happened to me Chandler."

"Talk about pressure", I jokingly nudged her.

She laughed "I think you can handle that after all you're Chandler Bing."

"That's me, we'll see how well I do, but first things first. Is it okay if I tuck you in now, it's getting pretty late and your leg needs rest."

She took one last look at the picture she was holding and traced the outline of her parents features on the photo. 

"I never told them how much I loved them, at least not enough, I can't even remember when I said those words for the last time."

"I know sweetheart, but they knew you loved them. Families always do."

She sighed and I knew she was struggling with that thought. I took the picture from her hand and placed it on the nightstand. "Come on let's get you under the covers." She crawled under the covers, carefully positioning her leg and pulled the covers up to her chin for protection, a few light scratches still visible on her face. 

"I'm right across the hall if you need me." I ensured her.

"Is Rachel home yet?"

"No she's still at Ross' place."

"I'm here honey, try to get some sleep now." I kissed her cheek and tucked her further in. Seated on the side of her bed she fell asleep within minutes. "Sleep well", I whispered. When I left her room to go back to my own apartment, she murmured softly and rolled on her favorite side.

Once back in bed I was tossing and turning. It hurt me to see two of my best friends in so much pain over losing both their parents in one crash and not of age. Not that that would soften the pain of course, but this was so unexpected. They went away for the weekend, Monica and her parents. Friends of the Gellers had a cabin they could stay at and they had asked Monica to come along. She agreed, she deserved to get some rest for a few days. I called her on Sunday morning, she was packing her stuff to head back home and told me all about how beautiful it was up there. She definitely wanted to go back sometime with the six of us. 

__

"Hey Chandler why don't we go to this cabin round Christmas time. It's been awhile since the six of us hung out together."

"That's a great idea Mon, we'll talk about it when you get back okay?"

"Yeah okay. I think we will be back round three. It's still snowing, but dad asked someone and they said the roads are still okay."

"Just promise me you will be careful Mon. And if you don't think it's safe, please stay another day", I told her protectively.

She laughed, "nothing's going to happen Chandler, don't worry."

"Yeah well you never know, I just want you home safely."

"What's wrong Chandler?" she suddenly asked.

"Nothing is wrong, why?"

She told me I was worrying too much. "I can read you like a book Chandler, so spill."

"I don't know Mon with all this snow I just… I'm worried.

"I'll be home round three in the afternoon okay? Are you home from work by then?"

"I'm getting off round three", I said solemnly.

"I will call you when they drop me off."

"Yeah okay."

"Chandler cheer up", she mused. "I'll see you in a few hours, bye."

"Bye Mon."

The phone clicked off. I just wanted her home. Snow was falling harder every hour. 

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A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. So if you did leave me a few words. Have a nice day. 

Feb 2004


	2. Back home

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Come crying to me

Chapter 2: Back home

A/N: Hi all I reread the first chapter and noticed I gave you the idea that this was just gonna be a one chapter fic, when it's not lol! So anyway here's a late "To be continued…." Hehehe! Thanks so much for the reviews, do it again ;). Back were we left of…

Disclaimer: I don't own them… 

I got home from work at two, earlier then I expected, but she never called. Round six I got worried and called her brother Ross, maybe he had heard something. Nothing, but when I got off the phone with Ross the phone started ringing again. There had been an accident…

I rushed to Beth Israel after calling Rachel, who would contact the others. It was snowing harder now and the roads were becoming slippery. I hurried over to the reception and asked for the Gellers. I was told to wait in the next room when a minute later a doctor came in holding a clipboard.

"Chandler Bing?"

"Yes that's me hi, how are they?"

I noticed he looked down at the floor for a moment, before looking up again. "Mr. Bing I'm sorry, but Judy and Jack didn't make it".

"No that's not possible, what about Monica", I whispered afraid to hear what the doctor had to say about her".

The doctor looked at his clipboard again before continuing, "Monica was in the backseat, she has some severe cuts and bruises on her face and arms, due to the shattering glass. She broke her leg in the process, but has no other injuries. She's a very lucky woman Mr. Bing".

I had mixed feelings but nonetheless blew out a sigh of relieve, Monica was still alive. "Thank you, can I see her?"

"Of course, follow me. I'll show you to her room". 

I sat next to Monica's hospital bed. With two fingertips I delicately brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and sighed. Monica had been asleep for a few hours now, the doctor had told me so. Shattered glass had been removed from her leg with no further complications. Mon would be fine eventually.

I brushed the forming tears from my eyes. I had the urge to sing to her, like a mother would soothe a child. I softly murmured a song she knew all to well. 

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-- It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear

She puts on het make-up and brushes her long blond hair

And then she askes me, do I look all right

And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight...

Despite some cuts and bruises, she still looked wonderful on a Sunday night.

When the others arrived an hour later, she still hadn't woken up. I met the others in the waitingroom where the doctor had just told them the Gellers died in a carcrash. I could hear them crying and comforting Ross. Rachel hugged him, while his head was on her shoulder. Joey and Phoebe each comforted Ross in their own way, rubbing his back occasionally. When I made my presence known, Ross came over and hugged me deeply and I cried with him.

"I'm so sorry man".

He looked at me and nodded, "how is my sister doing Chandler?"

"She doing great, just minor cuts and bruises on her body and a broken leg," I said followed by a small smile. 

"Oh Chandler you have no idea how glad I am to hear that", he sunk into a chair trying to grasp what had happened and changed his life forever in mere minutes.

The five of us stayed at the hospital overnight, each taking turns to watch over Monica. It wasn't till later the next day that she finally woke up. Her brother was holding her hand, when she adjusted her eyes to the sudden brightness. 

I was watching through a glass side door, the doctor had been beeped and was checking her vital signs. The look in Ross' eyes was a look of love and reassurance towards his little sister. The hardest part wasn't over yet though and we all knew the question was inevitable. Before the doctor left he spoke a few words to Monica and shook her hand, he laid reassuring hand on Ross' shoulder before walking out. Even though I couldn't hear a thing I knew Monica had asked the question. Ross looked down, carefully choosing his words. Monica broke down a few seconds later, clinging to her brother for emotional support. He looked down at the floor, unable to see her in so much pain. I rose from my chair feeling hot tears streaming down my cheeks, suddenly I felt a hand on my back and turned around to see it belonged to Rachel.

"Come on Chandler, let's give them a few moments together."

I nodded and brushed the tears from my eyes with my right sleeve. Monica was released two days later on crutches with a good prognosis for recovery. 

Monica's behavior changed over de following days. She did not want any physical closeness and would push us away when we tried to hold or comfort her. Even her brother could do no good. Eventually Ross came over less and less frequently, he had sat aside his own grieve since Mon came out of the hospital and it caught up with him. Rachel could do no good either and had a hard time, because Ross would come over less frequently and therefore she would spend most of her time at Ross' apartment. It was a tense situation and Monica could not comprehend why she acted the way she did. I guess she was in denial, but hurt the people in the process while she cared about them the most. I could understand where her reaction was coming from, I showed the same behavior when my parents divorced. That way people, who cared about me, could not hurt me again. I hurt them instead… 

Her broken leg was a bother though and I knew she had to let someone help her with certain things. I knew that was my change to break into her "little" world. Over the next few weeks I got closer to her and she even let me comfort her from time to time. 

"Chandler can you come in here for a second and help me put on my shoe please", I heard her yell from her bedroom.

"Yeah hold on one second", I shouted back when I placed the dishes in the sink. We just had dinner together and decided to go out and see a movie. Ross and Rachel had their own plans, Joey was at a late audition and Phoebe was cleansing someone's aura, at least that's what she told us. I knew it was something else, because she confided in me that she could not understand Monica's reaction at times, she too had lost a mother. 

"Are you decent Mon"?

"YES Chandler I only need help putting on my shoe."

I entered grinning, "well okay then." I crouched down in front of her, put her shoe on and tied her shoelace. "There you go, anything else?"

"My crutches… oh I left them in the livingroom", she said remembering. 

"Okay let me get them." I walked out and back in with one pair of crutches. "Here, be careful now."

She took them gratefully from my hands and stood up. I lead her out of the room towards the door. "What movie are we going to see anyway?"

"I don't really care Chandler as long as I'm out of the apartment." 

"Feeling claustrophobic Mon?" I joked.

She wobbled over to the coat rack and picked up her jacket. "You can say that yeah, I mean with this leg it's hard to go out."

"Oh so I'm just your little helper then?" I teased again.

She turned around and looked at me intensely, "Chandler you know you're more then that."

I blushed a bit and she noticed my reddened cheeks, "oh is Mr. Joker blushing now", she laughed out loud for the first time. Embarrassed and unable to speak I looked down at floor thinking of a comeback. But before words could escape, she approached me, unexpectedly placing chilled hands on my reddened cheeks. With a smile on her face, she leaned in and placed a kiss on my left cheek, whispering into my ear, "I think it's cute". 

She pulled back and stole a quick glance at my face, I had my eyes still closed. When I opened my eyes, a small smile parted her lips and she tugged at my jacket to follow her out the door. I felt embarrassed this was Monica.

She didn't mention anything later on, while I was struggling with the thought if I was the one who should bring it up. The movie was great and we both had a good time. On the way home I stayed silent thinking about what happened earlier. 

"What?" she suddenly said.

"I uh I… we were flirting Mon", it was the best thing I could come up with.

"Yeah I was there Chandler, what's wrong with a little flirting."

I thought she would be embarrassed too, but she wasn't, "Mon we're friends, friends don't flirt", I stressed the word "don't", a little angrier then I wanted. 

"Okay, sorry."

"No, no look Mon you don't have to apologize, I mean I liked it, I mean I don't, urgh I do… gawd I'm digging a deep whole here for myself. It's just that I didn't expect…."

She looked at me and sat down on a nearby bench, "I feel so much better when you're around. I can be myself again and cry whenever I want to, because I know you will understand. The joking, the teasing I can do all that when you're around. I know you won't judge me, because you've been there", a tear slowly trickled down her face. 

"Hey it's okay Mon, I will always be there for you. You caught me off guard when I couldn't make a joke. Because you know my every thought and my words before I even speak them, my every action, and what it all means. You can read my mind so well and you know so much about me. And if that's that a good thing I don't know? Only you can answer that."

I brushed the tears from her eyes and kissed her cheek, "without each other we would both be lost right" I smiled at her and winked, then offered her my hand. "Let's go home."

She quickly hugged me around my neck, "thanks", was all she said. We continued walking home together. That was the night we talked till early in the morning and fell asleep in each others arms. It was good to have the old Monica back, I only hoped our friends could see and feel the same thing I felt that night in the next few weeks. 

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A/N: and that's the second chapter. Thanks for all the reviews, it's great to know you all enjoy this story. Now hit that magical button ;)


	3. Crying again

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Come crying to me

Chapter 3: Crying again

A/N: Sorry for the delay, I kept rewriting this piece lol. But turns out I'm really proud of this chapter finally *smiles* hope you enjoy is too.

Disclaimer: I don't own them… 

We grew closer week after week. And because I hung out with our friends, Monica would do too. Which made me happy. 

Mon's leg was getting better, but the scare remained and she was still often pained. 

"Hey Mon", I greeted when I walked into her apartment. She was lying on the couch with her leg up watching a movie.

"Hi", she said lazily.

I walked around the couch, kissed her cheek a plopped down next to her, "here put your legs on my lap". I gently started rubbing her pained leg and she visibly relaxed.

She rested her head on the armrest and sighed, "That feels so good Chandler".

"Good for you cause I'm 12 bucks an hour", I laughed and she tried hitting me, but couldn't reach that far. 

"You're too much Chandler Bing?" she scoffed. 

"I don't see you complaining though". I added laughing.

She sat up and repositioned herself, placing her legs over the armrest and laid her head on my lap and she started to doze of. I gently started stroking her hair, "you comfortable"? She didn't answer instead warm tears pricked at her delicate eyelids and, as she blinked, they trailed down her cheek. "Mon it's okay to cry, just let it out". 

"Everyday I think about that day, hating myself more and more. There's not a day when I'm not crying". Tears trickled further down her face as she grasped my arm tightly. 

"It's very normal Mon, you've been through a lot. Give it time honey."

"I've given it enough time Chandler, it's been months. I'm sick of this feeling." She cried out. I pulled her up in a sitting position and she sobbed into my chest, her body shaking. I rubbed her back comfortingly, telling her that it was alright. 

The convulsing sobs shook her entire frail form and she hiccuped for breath, "It's not alright, I still have the memories of what happened that day, it's like a nightmare a seemingly never-ending nightmare. 

I told her that it had ended, but she shook her head fiercely. 

"It cannot end as long as I'm asleep." That was why she hadn't slept at all during all those days after her parents had died. She was too afraid of dreaming. 

I thought for sure that my heart was going to break as she said that. Who doesn't want to dream? "I'll stay with you Mon, to help you through the dreams if you want me to." She pulled back from me, definitely surprised at my offer. I fumbled over words as I tried to explain what I meant, and for the first time in days, she gave me a classic Monica Geller smile. 

"Thank you Chandler." She held onto my hand, asking me to hold her close for a little while. I did as she asked, making us both as comfortable as possible. 

When the clock read midnight, Monica had dozed of again, this time in my arms. I carefully tried to wake her up and she sighed faintly. "Is it morning yet".

"No Mon, it's time to go to bed." I carefully picked her up and laid her down in her waiting bed. 

"Don't leave me alone Chandler."

"I won't honey, I will be right across the hall okay?"

She was too far gone to give me a response and just nodded instead. I tucked her in all nice and warm for the night. I softly kissed her cheek and left the bedroom. Before I left the apartment I turned off the TV and plopped back down on the couch for a little bit, to clear my head in silence. I kept thinking about what Monica said and how I wanted to save her from her nightmares. Suddenly I could hear crying and sobbing coming from her bedroom, I pulled myself of the couch in a hurry and rushed into Mon's bedroom. 

"You were crying," I said, wrapping her in my arms. Monica sat up with a start, clawing at my hands. The light from a small blue lamp weaved through the dark. She gasped, inhaling deeply into lungs that would not fill, and lay back down on the wet pillow. The damp strands of her hair rubbed against her neck.

I climbed into her bed pulled a blanket over both our bodies and covered her with my chest. I slipped between her legs, warming every surface I could find.

"I hate myself," she said suddenly, mentally screaming at herself to shut up, "I'm scared."

Her words were greeted with my silence. She willed herself to think that this was for the best even though she knew she was falling into her own trap. She cursed herself. And I put my arms further around her fragile body.

"It's all right, Mon." My whisper caressed her ear. "I'll stay like this until you calm down."

She didn't react. She held still, leaning into me hoping I would keep my promise and stay like that for as long as I let her. She loved the feeling of my body against her own. She loved knowing I was there for her. But the trap continued to swallow her like a rabid beast. Her own guilty...

"I miss them so much Chandler."

"I know honey. I know you do, come here." She protested weakly as I hold her closer. My touch searing her skin.

I pressed my cheek against hers. "You are forever fighting Mon, searching desperately for ways to get rid of your guilt." She clamped her eyes tightly. I leaned closer, my voice dropping to a whisper, as if sharing a confidential secret.

"Just lay back, the pieces will fall into place if you let them. I promise." Shifting slightly, I let her weight fall against my chest. "I love you Mon you're a beautiful woman and I don't want to see you cry." I turned her chin to meet my eyes, brushing the fresh tears away with my thumbs. I searched her face intently as I saw a tiny grin creep onto her thin rosy lips. I smiled back in this boyish lopsided fashion, drawing her closer to my chest. 

She exhaled audibly, chest rising and falling with relief. I felt her heart thumped low in her chest, content. "So...am I really beautiful?" she smirked coyly, allowing herself to briefly wallow in that guilty pleasure. I nodded.

"I've searched endlessly for ways to kill the pain Chandler, to a point where I had almost given up hope, but it's all so simple." she whispered, finally understanding.

My eyes searched hers desperately, seeking allowance, acceptance. Without thinking I knew she would allow it, not wanting to break the mutual warmth that was flowing so rapidly between us. Raising herself on top of me, she gasped as my lips sought hers almost timidly, waiting for a reaction. My hand entwined in her hair softly, giving her the courage to press her own delicate mouth against mine. 

"I love you too Chandler."

AN: this is it? Yes I'm asking you lol I dunno maybe an epilogue but only if you really want me too. Well then leave me a review. Thanks *smiles* it makes my day!


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